36 (or there abouts)

I should be rejoicing being at 36 weeks, but I'm not. I've caught a cold (I sound worse than I feel) and I'm a tiny bit overwhelmed by how unprepared I (still) am for Baby OH's arrival.

I had my first stereotypical irrational-pregnant-woman-response-to-a-stranger experience last week. A sales staff member at Club Monaco (drool...the Club, not the guy) greeted me kindly and said "wow, you look like you're ready to pop!" with a great big friendly smile. Baby OH is apparently the size of a melon - which looks like it's holding itself together quite well....thank you very much.

Baby OH is the size of a Crenshaw Melon - apparently! 

Huh. Ready.to.pop.

As in...explode. An over-sized, distorted, stretched-beyond-capactiy, defies human logic, morbidly fascinating to watch in anticipation of the big-bang......is some of what came to mind.

I know I know, that its my pregnancy brain causing this reaction. Which is why I smiled kindly back and said through gritted teeth "yup, we're getting there!" What I really wanted to say was, "how would YOU like a 6lb CHILD rolling around in your belly and restricting your breathing AND your eating while finding the SWEET spot of pain between your sternum and underwire bra to nestle his knee into?!?" Thank heaven for grace.

I think my pregnancy was so straight forward that I became spoiled. And I think that I've been fairly easy-going about the whole upcoming labour, delivery and parenting thing. Perhaps this is 36 weeks of an uncharacteristically laid back attitude biting me in the bum. It's more likely attributed to hormones.

So I'm nervous, and a bit agitated. And the baby hasn't dropped so I'm short of breath. And hungry. Without going overboard, I've made a list of things we still need for baby OH's arrival and a list of things I need to take care of this week to prepare for being full term on Saturday. I have a Dr's appointment on Friday with Dr Dread (haha, it'd be poetic if that was his real name! I digress...) and hopefully the baby will start to drop soon! Not that I'm ready to go into labour now, BUT, with Christmas approaching, the acceptance that he's going to come out sooner or later, and the planner in me that is rising to the surface again, perhaps the sooner the better!

In the meantime, I whole heartedly look forward to my husband's graduation on Thursday. My mum bought me a fabulous dress for the event and I can't wait to wear it with heels! Thank you ego-boost! (And Black Friday sale prices!) This Crenshaw Melon looks good in that straight fitted dress - pics to follow at next update!

Almost 35

I forgot to post a week 34 update, as well as a doctor's visit update. So this'll do I reckon'!

I have entered the time of complete discomfort. Until this baby drops, I am fighting shortness of breath and a little foot/elbow/knee trying to wiggle some free room in the cavity between my ribs. Yes, a cavity between my ribs. And yes, this does hurt. It is not "uncomfortable" or "awkward" as I've been told to expect. Its bloody sore. And now you know. My belly is perpetually rock hard and the entire thing shifts or protrudes awkwardly when the baby moves.

I'm eating smaller portions and my sweet tooth is making a serious name for itself. I'm still toying with "demon sweet tooth", "sweet sweet sugary goodness" and "no, i'm not sweet enough"....or something a bit shorter. I have yet to decide. This need for more sugar in my tea, sickly sweet decaf Starbucks drinks, and miniature packs of Skittles for breakfast (oh the shame) is probably the reason for my weight gain at this appointment. But I blame baby. Because he can't defend himself. So I'm up another 1.2lbs from my visit 4 weeks ago. It could be worse, but I'm keenly aware that I've hit a weight gain mark and that I have another 5 weeks to go. I suppose I should try doing my workouts more than once per week. I'll aim for three this week!

The doctor said that my belly is small, and that the baby is smaller than average, but perfectly proportioned to my build. My heart rate is good, my blood sugar levels are good and my "discomforts" are perfectly normal. She then chided me for not being further along in the baby prep. I told her that I was planning on starting to prep around 37 weeks - err.or. (haha, I just hear Mr T's voice when I type that. I should find a Mr.T's Craziest Fools clip for this blog. I'll update it if I can find one)

Yes, statistically women do give birth at 40 weeks, but, apparently they see full term, 37 week old babies born every day.

"Really? Come on. Every. Day?"

"Every.day. I would make sure you're good to go at 37 weeks".

Stress? Panic? Anxiety? Nah. I'm too excited to watch a rubbish film with my sister-in-law tomorrow (helllooo Twilight, you wicked obsession) and spend time with James this weekend.

On a very very exciting note - our crib has finally arrived!!! Well, in the warehouse. My dad and brother were going to kindly put it together for us next week, but I think it'll be good for James to have a chance to participate in some of the organising for the nursery and the baby's arrival since he's been away for the majority of it. Good intuition Tamsin - you might say. James did confirm this and I'm really looking forward to having it in the nursery by the end of the weekend! Since my photography skills are average, here's a pic of the crib from the website. Yay!

The Oeuf Sparrow Crib - A sparrow's Egg!! Delightful. Oh, minus that changer attached to the top!

Mother

 Def’n: a woman who has a child. (Thank you Encarta Dictionary for your short and sweet definition!)

Sounds simple, doesn't it? Straight forward even. 

Mother, woman, wife, daughter, sister, friend and what about self? Somewhere in there I’m sure. Though defined by these others? It’d be impossible for it not to be.

This woman, is my mother.  And beside her, is her mother. 

Their histories are hard and full and sometimes crazy. Even now, at 28, I refuse to be blown here and there. I’ve taken a stand to write my own history. And its already full of the good, the bad and the ugly. I am about to embark on motherhood. I focus on my mother and my grandmother. These women, have battled the world, raised children, married, divorced, remarried etc while forging careers.

They are fierce.

And they are loving.

And they are kind.

And they are good.

And we were given to each other by the omniscient God.

And He knew what our lives would be, and what our lives would require. And this was His plan.

And what is His plan for my child? At 35 weeks, the prospect (insert “gift”, “responsibility”, “joy” et al) of mothering is overwhelming. Examples of poor mothers are everywhere to be seen. And yet, surely, I will do the best I can with the knowledge I have. Will I be judged as a poor mother? Will I seek self more so than God-fearing mothering, God-loving wife, God-honouring sister and daughter? My legacy starts now as I write this next chapter.  

May God give me grace and wisdom. May my son look at his mother and be thankful for her. May my love be as it should and my actions be right, despite my intentions. For our intentions can be of good heart but our actions born of worldly fear and wisdom.  May my love be ruled by faith and not by fear. 

Bugs & Hormones

So at almost 34 weeks, I am suffering (yeah, I'd call this suffering) a miserable bout of nausea, headache and fatigue. The kind you feel all the way to the tips of your fingers and ends of your hair. Nausea! At 34 weeks! I only had a couple of weeks of nausea in my first trimester so why now? Unfortunately I've left my What to Expect When You're Expecting guide somewhere else and can't do a quick reference. I could do some online hounding but it'll likely tell me a bunch of things that are common sense.

-Rest.

-Drink water.

-If feeling is accompanied by pain, call your practitioner - ha! Fat chance. You'll only end up talking to one of many receptionists who will schedule you in for an appointment at a time that is convenient. For them. There really is no point in bothering with an Obstetrics Practice if you want a personal experience.

(again wishing that I'd managed to find a midwife for this pregnancy)

-If feeling persists or symptoms worsen, call your practitioner - see above.

And so, I suppose, if I use my common sense, I might have caught a bug somewhere, or, I might just be experiencing a new surge of hormones associated with this stage of pregnancy.

My common sense is also telling me that staring at this computer screen is certainly not helping.

33!

Chillin' with Lupa at 33 weeks

33 weeks in. 4 weeks until I'm considered full term, and 7 weeks until my due date. (Though I can't shake the feeling that this baby is not going to hang around until 40 weeks)

There really isn't a whole lot to report - I'm afraid! Its all fairly boring standard pregnant stuff. My back does hurt, I am still getting leg cramps, I do not sleep well - at any time - and my belly is big and round and...big and round.  

I am fielding the growing anxiety over labour and delivery. I presume this is also fairly standard. I don't particularly want to get into details, but the entire....thing, is unsettling and cause for fear. Yes, I know women all over the world in all situations and at all ages participate in the labour and delivery of babies. I can honestly say that it doesn't change the way this woman feels.

I've refused to attend pre-natal classes on my own at the hospital, but our region offers quite a reputable eLearning Prenatal course - which also happens to be free. I'm currently waiting for my registration information to arrive in the post. In the meantime, I'm busying myself with decorating the nursery - one.item.at.a.time. For some reason - its the most challenging decorating project I've encountered yet. I'm busy focusing on birthday gifts and Christmas preparation. James graduates in just over 3 weeks and I spend half my time wishing away the days to bring my husband home permanently and the other half wishing that time would just slow down. I am not ready to have this baby. The home, my marriage, my plans! Not even remotely ready.

That eLearning Prenatal Course had better be something miraculous. I'm wholly hoping that I won't be watching any videos. Diagrams from the 90's will suit me just fine.

P.S. I grunt and lose my balance when trying to put on tights, I also huff and puff when taking laundry out of the washing machine, cleaning the loos and can feel my heart thumping when I've walked from the basement to the top floor.  Glam.O.Rous.