28

This is what I see when I look down. I don't even see my feet anymore unless I lean forward. I am overwhelmed by the prospect of being 7 months along. My body seems to just be on a course of its own. My belly is rounder, bigger, higher and heavier. Baby OH has been kicking the daylights out of my upper right ribs and occasionally, my bladder, for the past week. It mostly happens when I'm sitting down so perhaps it's nature's way of ensuring that I don't sit around too much and remain as active as possible.

Which would make sense, considering the propensity to gain weight, lose flexibility and get generally lazy as the pregnancy progresses. I stepped on the scale at the gym this week (after a 2 week hiatus) and was appalled to see that I have now gained a solid 12lbs. Let's just say that the cross-trainer was about to be beasted. I know what the statistics say, and I know what North American doctors say. But when you consider the weight of the child, the water retention and all the other bits (which I'm still a bit squeamish about), there really is no health benefit to gaining 2lbs per week. On a 5'3 frame, that kind of weight gain will cause shortness in breath, greater difficulty in exercising and less flexibility. Which will make delivery more difficult as well as looking after Baby OH once we get home. I still don't quite understand why North American doctors and pregnancy education has a "one-size fits all" guideline for weight gain for all women of different heights, starting weights, activity levels, metabolic differences et al.
Rant complete.

This week has been extremely eye-opening in terms of how I am starting to be limited by this pregnancy. While on my hands and knees attempting to scrub clean the bathroom and kitchen floors in the new house, I had quite a bit of pain in my abdomen. I also huffed and puffed as if I was running an 8miler.
Note to self: do not squash baby.

At the end of the week, I attempted to give myself a lovely pedicure (something I do every 2-3 weeks). Not only did I find that I was less agile (thank you 2 week gym hiatus) but I simply couldn't reach my toes properly. My pedi does not look amazing.
2nd note to self: save for pedicures.

Throughout the week, my hormones and emotions have finally won the battle over reason. I cried 4 times. Hard. I cried because I missed my husband. I cried because I felt incapable of cleaning my own house properly. I cried because the house was empty and quiet. And then I cried this morning, in anticipation of James going back to training this evening. In fact, mentioning it in this blog is making me feel teary again.
3rd note to self: buy tissues.

And so, I forge forward into my next trimester. The reality of the pregnancy is no longer something I can put off. Concerns over my RhoGAM shot on Tuesday, my new limited movement, my emotional sensitivity and my complete lack of knowledge over the entire labour and delivery process is starting to weigh on my mind. I'm putting together my to-do list for next week to prepare for Thanksgiving at ours, my dear friend Sarah's visit the week after and the ongoing house project. I'll have to schedule some time for self-education this week as well.

A child's name

I am amazed by the buzz that is created around the name of a new..well...creation! The excitement (and pressure) in the name revealed, the apprehension of new parents on whether or not their selection will be applauded, the frustration over the seeming right everyone takes in weighing in with their opinions. James and I actually find the entire thing, quite....odd.

Of course we feel that the name should sound right, feel right, suit us, suit the middle name (and surname).
Of course we care if the name suits our son.
Of course we appreciate that others get excited about what we'll name our baby, what this little creation will come to be known as - an entire identity wrapped up in a few letters. Until he matures and forms his own identity that is.

Its just that, we find the entire process quite surreal. We aren't particularly phased over other's opinions in this regard. We have two options that we both love and are trying to decide on. My sister-in-law (English) is on the same name-team as my friends who are English. My family (South Africans) are on the other name-team. James and I are actually, and this may sound awful, quite indifferent. We like both. We think both names work and both names will suit this new little Dawson.

We're so indifferent that we just laugh amidst cries of:
"noooo, you can't name him that" and,
"noooo, I'll just call him this" and, one of our favourites,
"that's the name of a bus driver" (what is wrong with being a bus driver anyhow?!)

We've even entertained the idea of choosing a false name, that we don't particularly care for, just to give everyone something to talk about. Since they enjoy talking about it so much! But that requires too much energy and I'm really the one with the wicked sense of humour, not James. He wouldn't be able to maintain the façade.

So we wait, until we're ready or have a clear decision between us on whether or not we'll name our wonderful baby Oscar James Dawson or Henry James Dawson. Hence, Baby OH. But for now, Baby OH works just fine.




                                                   

26...and 5 days

I'm hoping to get the hang of this weekly blog by the time I am pregnant with my second child. Let's just chalk this up to a steep learning curve. Yes, this pic is a bit of a cop-out, but I've been wearing my little Miss Bossy shirt (figuratively) for a good few weeks. It suits me! And it suits our current circumstances. 

I've been fortunate enough to only experience vague pregnancy symptoms so far. Nausea for 2 weeks, the usual achy boobs thing and fatigue. I've managed to largely dodge the unexplained crying fits, quick tempers, moodiness and crazy eating habits. So far. This morning I craved English sausages with brown sauce (that's HP sauce to you Canadian and South African folk) with a side of cinnamon roll. Yup, cinnamon roll. Fortunately I didn't eat either, but I think that the lack of sleep and stress of the past 2 weeks is starting to show itself in my pregnancy. Today, while putting primer on the nursery walls (after having started to paint them a horrendous industrial rust colour, which was really meant to be a orange cream colour), I started to experience quite a bit of aching in my abdomen. My body is telling me to slow down, my head is telling my body to suck it up until next Wednesday (my last day of painting and prep before our furniture is delivered and I have to start setting up the house).

I'm convinced that I just need a couple of nights of good rest. Either a sore back, nightmares or an uncomfortable belly plague me nightly. I'm assuming its just part of the pregnancy process. I have been told by a few people that my belly seems to have popped again, so perhaps my body is just going through a bit of a quick change this week. I bet you're all even more sorry now that there isn't a profile photo. We'll be sure to do one this weekend. 

My hair might fall out

I know that because of the hormones and multi-vitamins we are required to take during pregnancy, the chances of this happening isn't great. However, I have been feeling more stressed this past week than I have done since the days of working 5 days a week and being in college full time. My brain feels heavy most of the time, and when I read an email that is related to the house we've just purchased or the impending move, my eyes feel strained and swollen, like they might actually pop out of my skull and roll away. I can just imagine them squealing in all their squishy eye glory "save yourself!". I've started grinding my teeth at night and I continue to have nightmares that are quite obviously based on the anxiety of being alone, facing parenthood, buying and moving into a new home etc.

So you see. My case is quite strong. My hair might really fall out. Though it's unlikely. The more likely result is that I'll get hormonal and stress related spots which will just make me irritable. Yes, it is possible, I can be more irritable than I normally am. Though, I'm working really hard on that flaw - its so unattractive and usually involves frowning, which causes premature ageing.

The little ray of hope came in the form of an appointment with an OB. Not my doctor - since I'm just really signed on with the obstetrical practise at Credit Valley Hospital. It means that I could have an appointment with any one of 11 doctors and that Baby OH could be delivered by any one of those 11 doctors - depending on who's on call. But the OB who met with me yesterday was wonderful. She was fairly young, warm, light-hearted, professional and just, made me feel like a woman on the brink of something exciting. This may seem strange to those who have not had to experience appointments with doctors like I have. I have felt uncomfortable, awkward, upset, frustrated, uncertain and usually a bit like a cow in a herd that happens to be expecting a calf, being pushed along the conveyor belt for a quick feel and a nod. Ugh.

Perhaps it was simply the fact that this doctor referred to Baby OH as "your first little monkey". It melted my heart. Even though she was an hour late to the appointment. My weight gain is on the scale, but a bit low (WOOHOO!) and I have an anterior placenta. She was gobsmacked that no other doctor had mentioned it to me, since it quickly explained the delay in the feeling of movement. *sigh* A good doctor is hard to find.

I have not yet purchased a belly band, nor have I managed to bring myself to purchase maternity wear. I'll get there eventually. Out of desperation I'm sure!

25

ARG! No photo update this week despite best intentions! Many apologies. It has been one hectic week and a very busy weekend. I was blessed to have James home this weekend from training. We talked and ate and ate some more, drank lots of tea, ran some errands, had lovely home-cooked meals, watched The Expendables 2 (which was actually pretty fantastic) and went for a good 5 mile run. As expected, the time went much too quickly and dropping him off at the college today was heartbreaking - again. I'd like to say that the week ahead is going to be so wicked that I'll barely notice his absence, but it'd be a lie. The days are manic and the evenings are Q.U.I.E.T. It is miserable and unsettling to admit that I use the television as a source of noise in the house to fill the void. I'm not even watching it! It's usually just on in the background so that the house feels normal.

The best update for this week is MEGA MOVEMENT. Not only has Baby OH been moving like it's his business, he has been moving enough that James could feel it too! SUPERB! I was overjoyed to be able to share that moment with him and James looked as if he'd just opened Nintendo 64 on his 12th birthday. Great response in my opinion!

Our house closes on Friday, so my next photo update will show my fashionable moving/painting ensemble. Exciting stuff!

Impromptu hospital visit

I realise how silly this post will sound, considering that I posted my 24week update on Monday. I hit the 24week mark on Saturday, I also felt movement on Saturday. Bango. Today is Wednesday and as of this morning, I had felt no movement since Saturday. I had assumed that it was related to the stress and busyness of our days, but I did start to feel concerned when I allowed the thoughts to mull over in my mind. The possibility of being RH negative, the possibility that it could affect this pregnancy (though its highly unlikely), the advice of the OB to attend the Labour Assessment ward 2 weeks ago, etc etc.

I was very unwilling to go to the hospital today, but my sister-in-law was quite kind in offering to sit and wait with me for an appointment. In fact, she really convinced me to go. And I'm very grateful for her grace in the situation. So we parked at the hospital, had some lunch - priorities! - and found our way to the ward. The attending nurse was a bit put-out at having to do an assessment on a "little 24week old baby" since it can be quite tough. I was quite apologetic, but after realising that I wasn't one of those pregnant women (you know the type, neurotic etc) she was quite reassuring. Belly band and monitor attached, baby OH's little heart beating well and infrequent whooshing quelled any fears. There is in fact lots of movement, I'm just not able to distinguish it well enough.

I'm pleased to have made the trip for 2 reasons:

1. My fears are now put aside, and I have some "relax and pay attention to your body" homework to focus my uncertainties on. This is good for someone who is a do-er.

2. My sister-in-law got to hear baby OH's heartbeat and I think, though I can't be sure, that I saw her heart melt a little. She talked to baby OH about the pet dog, about timbits and about loving cake. And shushed me when I interrupted her attempt to get him to move in response to her voice. I'm glad she's bonding with him. This little guy is going to be so so loved.

24

I'm pleased to say that this week we had MOVEMENT! It doesn't happen on a daily basis and I really only feel it when I'm sitting down and being very calm, which is a rare occurrence in itself! James is a bit jealous that he can't yet feel Baby OH moving, but I believe that changes in a few weeks or so. A few weeks! I don't know how I can start talking about what will happen in a "few" weeks, when I'll be a whole 7 months along at that stage. It just seems so...advanced.  

This weekend we celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. We had to carve out the day for ourselves by planning ahead and sticking to our guns when the to-do list wasn't completed in time. But we woke up early, went for a 5 mile run, then enjoyed a lovely brunch at a neat little restaurant in Liberty Village called School . Afterwards we browsed through West Elm, before coming home to watch a tv-movie and lie on the sofa without any guilt whatsoever. It was wonderful. 

Except for the consistent ache I had during the day following our run. I'm strongly starting to consider the belly band for additional support. I don't know what has held me back from purchasing maternity clothes, a belly band and the like. I think I just resent purchasing things that I may or may not use and only then, for a few months yet to come. We just seem to have many more important things to spend our funds on. Like a baby shower! I'm beginning to be excited about the shower which will be a modern afternoon tea at a patisserie downtown. The rest of the baby preparation is really on the back burner until after the house closing date and the move in date 2 weeks after that. Worrying over what brand of car seat to purchase, which clothes we do or don't need and what colour to select for crib sheets will have to wait. There is time enough for it yet. 

We've spend the day getting ready for James' departure tomorrow for his training time with the police. I am painting my nails and getting dinner ready for our last Tuesday together until, well, until around Baby OH's due date! Fortunately he is home on weekends and only returns to training on a Sunday evening. Friday is about to become my most favourite day of the week.