Med Update

After a phone call from my (new) doctor's office, I've been given a prescription for some type of antibiotic. I feel quite strongly that avoiding all types of medications, including tylenol and advil during this pregnancy is the safest choice for me. Being told that I have a bacterial infection that can only be cleared with antibiotics does concern me. To be truthful, I was as concerned about the effects of the antibiotics - yes I know they have been cleared for use during pregnancy, but so has aspartame, and tylenol and anti-nausea tablets etc etc - as I was about the infection. And that was before I experienced the side effects of said antibiotic - severe nausea, upset stomach, abdominal cramping and dizziness. Surely there must be another option for clearing up an infection? My word.

Tomorrow morning I have been scheduled for a medical ultrasound and I feel certain that it will be a clear and positive result.

The positive aspect to this miserable situation is that I'm really feeling bolstered by the excellent health care system in Canada. The hospitals are clean and modern, the clinics are clean and efficient and once I'd found a doctor that gave a damn, things started to move along very rapidly. It really eased any anxiety I felt about delivering in a large sterile environment. I actually quite think a large sterile environment will suit me. Especially since there is a gift shop, magazine store, and Second Cup downstairs! We haven't yet seen the newly built delivery and recovery ward but will do at my appointment at the hospital in approximately a month's time.

8teen

Week 18. That belly looks more like a week 24 belly, though, this photo was taken at the end of the day and I'm normally a bit bigger in the evenings than the morning. It's my story and I'm sticking to it. I can't understand why I'm so round so early on, and I keep worrying that it's food related - though, I've still not gained any weight since my first weigh-in with the troll doctor. 

Update on the doctor and the bug. I have found a new doctor and I'm so relieved! She doesn't pander to me but still takes the time to listen to my concerns. Perfect. She was concerned that I had picked up a virus or infection from bacteria while on holiday or on the plane. I've given multiple samples (the most unsavoury kind), been for a blood test, and am currently waiting for a spot to open up for an ultrasound. She listened to the baby's heartbeat as a precaution (and I cried when hearing it this time - the first real emotional response on my part). It was steady but also fast, almost urgent. 

I'm here, I'm working really hard to be healthy and big. I'm here, I'm here!

At 4.5months, I've finally had to give up on the running habit. I am still struggling with my back (leg, foot) injury, but with a belly and the increased release of relaxin in my system, I'm more concerned about further injury and reducing my mobility later on in pregnancy. Do not fear! I continue with my Women's Health workouts, cross training and will swap running for swimming laps.

And before there are anymore requests for this information : no, I have not yet felt any kicking, fluttering or other types of movement. Lots of time for all of that yet!

Bugs

I have found a new doctor! Actually, I have an appointment to meet and greet a new doctor tomorrow. I went to the walk-in clinic today to discuss my aches and pains and they have a part time doctor that is accepting new patients. I am hoping it will be a positive meeting tomorrow.

As it turns out, I have in all likelihood picked up some type of stomach bug. It could've been while on holiday in the Caribbean, or it could've been here at home. The doctor isn't sure what it is but there are pending tests and a precautionary ultrasound that are coming up to determine whether the bug is serious and requires antibiotics, or if my body will sort itself out. I couldn't help but ask if the sharp pains I've been having are any cause for concern over miscarriage. Apparently, as a single symptom, they're not, but its something I've been instructed to keep an eye on in the future. Joyous.

Not that it's dampened my determination to find a suitable venue for a baby shower. I really would like to have afternoon tea at a hotel in Toronto, but I'll have to see if I can manage to make it affordable for the attendees. I just don't know what I'd do otherwise - I've already determined and planned the invitations! Ongoing details to follow.

Seventeen

No preamble required, there is no photo update this week, nor will there be in the coming weeks. Consider that I am someone so non photogenic that posing and posing and posing (these weekly photos require many attempts) actually causes sweat to bead. And arguments between James and I to flair up. He feels his photography skills are inadequate, I feel that you can only do so much with an unflattering subject. Needless to say, today's photo attempt verged on traumatic and so, there will be no more. 

Back to the update. I have spent 2 weeks with various belly aches and pains, though nothing resembling the dreaded cramping I've been wary of. My belly has become a noticeable bump in the past 10 days or so and my appetite is flourishing. The latter is not necessarily a positive development. Though we have been making a good effort with our new fitness commitment and I have only gained 3lbs so far into the pregnancy. 

Our main focus at the moment is finding a new doctor while I wait for my first appointment with an OB at the hospital - which is only happening around 22 weeks. Its proving to be quite difficult but I have been told by the hospital that its essential to have my blood pressure and weight checked. We also need to arrange an ultrasound through a doctor to find out the sex of the baby - woohoo! This is something we are both really looking forward to, though we really do not have a preference. The usual adage of "healthy and well" is true for us as well as most other couples. Though, I did dream last night that we were having a boy, which James takes as positive proof of the fact. Sigh. Boys will be boys. 

Sixteen (and a bit)

I really need to get a handle on these weekly photo updates. My early week 14 and late week 15 pics look like they were taken a month apart. I commit to being on time with my updates as of next week.

Until then, my belly is out! And its a nightmare to dress. I continually feel like I need to "suck it in" and still compare my physique to the women in the gym who are not pregnant. I do not know when my mind will switch gears, but I'm sure that when it does, I'll fall into the neurosis that seems to be so common for my generation. Being neurotic about pregnancy neurosis. Wonderful.

The best tact -yes, I have analysed this and come up with a solution - is to focus on the important stuff. Parenting. To this end I've completed a lovely book which I mentioned in a former blog. It was so eye-opening that I intend to read it cover to cover again - after a short hiatus with something frivolous and easy. Its interesting to me that I've never feared being an inadequate parent, nor that James will be so. But the thought of pregnancy (and the being) has always made me feel disconcerted. I suppose it has to do with the idea that parenting involves a measure of control and decision; whereas, being pregnant involves giving your body over to the development of something entirely foreign for its own benefit, with little to no control. How high my belly sits, when I start to show, whether my hormones make my emotional, spotty or mental are all completely out of my control. Simply, I've become a vessel. And it would seem, that currently, I'm just along for the ride.

Week 16 photo to follow. Tomorrow.

Fifteen (and a bit)

I celebrated reaching 15 weeks because it brought us one step closer to the 4 month mark. Despite the tendency for others to be excited at the 3 month point which signals the end of the 1st trimester, James and I are more excited about 4 months as a milestone. We get to share with everyone that we're going to be parents. Though, judging by my expanding belly, we'd probably have a hard time hiding it when we get back from holiday.  Certainly the belly has been helped along by helpings of freshly baked morning muffins. Today, I'm eating 3. The calorie equivalent of 3 cupcakes, I know. But somehow "muffin" feels like "cupcake without guilt" and since they're freshly baked just for us, it'd be rude to say no. I was raised with manners. 

I finally look pregnant. And it pleases me. I don't know the statistics regarding when women start to "show", but considering that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, I'm just going with the flow! I am excited for the next trimester. I think months 4-6 will be glorious. For those of you who know me, this is not because I am excited to shop. I certainly am not rushing out to purchase any maternity clothing. I'm used to my style of clothing and the way my things belong together. I have had to concede on some articles, but for the most part, I still maintain my own style. I'd like to do so for as long as possible regardless of the size of this belly. 

Uncertainties

A week shy of the 16 week mark and I am fielding anxieties. They mostly revolve around the fear of miscarriage or infection that can lead to birth defects. I had stretching ligament aches and pains which were terrifying until my troll of a doctor brusquely told me it was normal. Today I experienced sharp pain in my upper abdomen and rushed to babycenter.ca to find out that it's likely caused by indigestion. Ah. Yes of course! How foolish of me. Indigestion. This evening I have aching in my lower abdomen. I'm hoping its caused by stretching ligaments again as I am starting to advance from food baby to baby baby. 


I am due to have my second round of blood work when we return home after our holiday. Its to determine if I have any markers. I've had mixed advice about whether or not to get the results of the test. I do however understand the dilemma it would cause for James and I if the blood work does show markers.

The uncertainties that come with pregnancy (especially a first) are usual and expected. While I don't find them consuming, they linger persistently. I do take comfort in God's timing, His wisdom and knowing that most women have healthy babies on a daily basis. But the unknown is scary. And my own voice of reason is consistently quiet where this pregnancy is concerned. The only recourse is to celebrate the weeks as they pass and hope.