40 weeks and 5 days

And here we are...past my due date...and not particularly happy about it today.

The plus side: Christmas Eve was a roaring success. It was wonderful to be able to host the evening at home with our family and I felt quite well until around 9:30pm. Not too shabby in my estimation.

The down side: I get bigger every.single.day. Its actually a joke. I'm bigger, but no heavier than I was last week. Thank you Lord for small mercies!

The low down: At my doctor's appointment today, I had an exam. Sigh. I realise that with an impending delivery of my child, I shouldn't still be squeamish about this, but I am. The doctor was surprised that I had not experienced any contractions yet since my cervix is 90% thinned out and I am already 3cm dilated. Pardon moi? 3 cm?? That does not in any way fit in with my "going into labour" plan which involved:

1. Water breaks.
2. Start dilating from 0.
3. Shower, blow dry hair and put lovely lotion all over my body so that I feel as feminine as possible going into this horrendously humiliating, unpredictable and undoubtedly painful experience in a crappy thin hospital gown.
4. Measure time between contractions and since labour starts out slowly, take time to tidy house, unload dishwasher and write some update emails.
5. Measure time between contractions, feed dog, let her out and make arrangements for someone to come and look after her.
6. Call hospital, fill car with petrol and drive at a decent hour, missing traffic, to avoid stress and hassle, to the hospital.
7. Arrive at hospital, check in with labour and assessment and walk the halls while waiting to reach 4cm dilation so that I can ask for the epidural.

So.....when she told me that I was already 3cm dilated...the plan became moot. So I went out for coffee with my mom instead. And then bought some groceries for easy meals (thank you Stricklands!!) and then picked James up from work early. Because, well, because he loves me and he was terribly concerned.

The plus side: None of the male doctors are on call tomorrow or Saturday - small mercies extended. This one I am massively thankful for. Induction is scheduled for Saturday so that if the contractions don't start before then, we will have a baby come Sunday - one way or another!

The down side: I am at home, cramping and achy, with no contractions yet, a plan that's gone to pot and feeling a bit concerned about not being able to do what I wanted to do to prepare for labour.

The other plus side: My husband is amazing. We came home, cleaned the kitchen and living room, did dishes and cleaned surfaces and recycling and bins and shovelled the driveway so that I can feel a bit more relaxed about coming home with a new baby. I am about to go shower and then we are going to relax (well, he'll relax, I'll grimace in a statutory position) while watching a film on the laptop.

And now you all know. This is where we stand. I'm nervous, I'm leaning towards acceptance, but mostly I am annoyed. That this labour hasn't started out the way "it's supposed to", that women have to deliver big babies and that my husband is so cheerful about the imminent arrival of his son and expressing it by whistling and dancing around the house while I breathe through the pain. And the most annoying of all : I wanted this.

Things people have said to me that I am C.L.I.N.G.I.N.G to:

"Don't make a scene, just get in, and get it done" - a Friend's mum
"You'll be so filled with love the moment he's here, you'll forget the pain" - A variation from numerous
"HAVE FUN!!" - A friend's 2 year old daughter